Interpersonal conflict occurs daily when:

• We perceive that someone is impeding on or threatening our needs or goals
• Two or more persons seek to possess the same object, resource, position
• People maintain incompatible goals, values, or motives

Conflicts can be caused by differences in:

• Information - do we have the same data?
• Perceptions - do we see things from different backgrounds & experiences?
• Roles/priorities - do we have different status or positions which causes us to take a different stand?
• Relationships/assumptions - do we have the trust level needed to address the issue?

Conflict is a product of our uniqueness & so it is inevitable - its absence would be abnormal. Some kinds of conflict can contribute to the health & well-being of an organization. Other kinds of conflict can be detrimental to an organization and/or its employees.

But a conflict is only one component of a relationship. Often, we are not in conflict with the other person but with that component. Success is addressing that component vs. attacking the other person or defending our ego.

Functional organizational conflict:

• Is constructive, healthy & cooperative
• Is when the parties are talking & focused on achieving a mutually acceptable outcome
• Generates new perspectives & ideas
• Allows options to be debated
• Enables Individuals & teams to grow
• A component of high-performing teams

During functional conflicts we feel:

• Optimistic
• Full of ideas
• Heard
• Valued
• Trusted
• Respected

Dysfunctional Organizational Conflict

• Generates little if any benefit to the parties
• Negatively impacts the well-being of the parties & organization
• Hijacks time, energy & trust

During dysfunctional conflicts we feel:

• Vulnerable
• Angry
• Frustrated
• Anxious
• Attacked
• Stressed

Ineffective approaches to managing conflicts include:

• Ignoring it & hoping it will go away
• Not discussing the issues objectively
• Premature judgments/conclusions
• Using intimidation & inappropriate use of power

These ineffective approaches are triggered by four universal, instinctive responses to conflict:

• Fight: confront the issue & stand our ground
• Flight: run away & fight another day
• Freeze: do nothing & wait to see what happens
• Fall: yield & give in

However, effective leaders & negotiators know when & how to utilize each of the five conflict resolution strategies:

• Waiting & Avoiding - ‘The Turtle’
• Accommodating - ‘The Teddy Bear’
• Using Power - ‘The Shark’
• Compromising - ‘The Fox’
• Collaborating - ‘The Owl’